The Bitter End
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: Sometimes words weren't enough but after the hellish events, Danny knows being there for Jamie is what would count the most. Post ep 3.22 'The Bitter End' 'Contains spoilers' Missing Jamie/Danny Missing Scene


**Title: The Bitter End**

**Summary:** Sometimes words weren't enough but after the hellish events, Danny knows being there for Jamie is what would count the most. Post ep 3.22 'The Bitter End' 'Contains spoilers' Jamie/Danny Missing Scene

**Disclaimer: ** Um you know by now write? Lol I own nothing but my hard working muse Alice.

**A/N:** Wow what an ending. Didn't expect them to kill Vinny and think it left a lot of us reeling (at least that's the tone in my forum – which if you haven't checked it out please come on over). I LOVED the chase scene our brothers had together but as standard Bluebloods fashion they kinda glossed over some of the emotional stuff so I decided to write this missing broment and hope you all like it.

Note: _"Words in double quotes and italic's taken directly from the eppy"_

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_"Check in on your brother."_

He didn't really need his father to tell him that his brother was hanging on by an emotional thread after his partner's slaying; he could see the torment in his warm blue-grey eyes or hear it in his short clipped tone even when not in the same room together.

"Fine…I'm fine," Jamie had told everyone in true Reagan style; a verbal lie they had perfected over the years to shield themselves from further outside pain and grief and to stop the world around them from thinking it okay to pry beneath the stalwart blue shield. Inside though would be a whole other story. Inside he knows his brother is crumbling.

As he drives further into the night, Danny remembers their father telling them that _"Jamie had picked up an extra tour_," which is why he wasn't at family dinner. He reaches Jamie's apartment and hurries inside, his mind telling him the same thing that Jamie's probably was, _'if he hadn't said yes to the tour maybe Vinny would still be alive.'_

"Jamie! Hey kid open up it's me," Danny states firmly as his fist pulls back from giving the piece of wood a firm knock. "Jamie!"

He waits a few more seconds, before he pulls his key and slowly turns the lock and then pushes the door open. "You descent?" Danny calls out as he enters the quiet loft apartment. "Too tired to play hide and seek baby brother," Danny slightly smirks before his face turns back into a frown. He slowly wanders down the hall, pausing to look in the bathroom and spare room before returning to the open space and staring at Jamie's well-manicured bed.

"Scary he's related," Danny gently muses as he pulls his phone and dials. "Charlie you at the desk right now? I need a number traced. Yeah it's for a job. A personal one. Stop busting my chops and get it done. I'll hold," Danny's lips exhale heavily as he looks around Jamie's quiet apartment. But just before they look away from their absent sweep, his eyes rest on something seemingly out of place on the kitchen island countertop and he heads toward it.

"Yeah still here. Yes I know who the number belongs to. Have you found it? Thanks."

Danny looks at the piece of blood stained paper with the phone number on it and frowns before he tucks it into his pocket and then reaches for a pen. "He's where…yeah…damn it, no sorry not you. Yeah I know where that is. No I do not need backup, I got this. Goodbye," Danny huffs as he hangs up and then hurries for the door, his mind racing as to what Jamie's present state was and if he was at least physically okay – emotionally he knows he won't be for some time.

XXXXXXXX

They had started out as strangers.

Slowly moved up to frenemies.

Evolved into partners.

Forever parted as friends.

He still remembers the day he walked into the locker room to Vinny Cruz shooting his mouth off, how in that moment he had cursed the fact he had no say over the recruitment and selection process and telling himself they'd be trading blows long before sharing a coffee or laugh. After that it was the very public and very verbal showdown over his father's policing ethics and how at the time his mind reminded him, he'd always have a taste of disdain for the hot headed officer. But after that things changed…Vinny's respect was earned and he softened toward him and almost reluctantly Jamie found himself wanting to at least be friends with the one person he would spend the better part of his waking day in the company of. Someone he would have to trust with his very life.

The conversations at first, even over a few beers was always strained, even somewhat perfunctory. But soon the walls crumbled, they opened up and things actually became pleasant; borderlining genuine friendship. However, that's what happened and before long they had even joked about taking some time off together, maybe a few days, hitting the road and maybe ending up down south or wherever and just having a good time. That now would always remain a what-if; an unfulfilled dream. A figment of thought.

His mind hears a loud bang, forcing his entire frame to seize and his heart rate to increase, his right hand automatically reaching for his off duty piece and jerking it free of his hidden shoulder holster. But as his watery gaze fixes on the somewhat derelict truck as it backfires again, his hand shoves his piece back into the shadows and withdraws as his body sags back into the front seat of his car.

"Vinny," he lets his partners name escape his lips as he sees the two of them walking past his car a few nights earlier, Vinny telling him about growing up in the area and Jamie not giving it too much thought other than some background information on his partner. But within seconds his mind shows him the flip-side of their profession; every officer's nightmare – having your partner die in your arms as you're ambushed by the enemy.

_"I knew…this was the end…"_

_"Vinny don't talk…don't do this to me…Vinny!"_

"Damn it," Jamie gently curses as his fist hits the steering wheel of his car; his eyes looking at the darkened section of the street before him. He slowly gets out, his heart racing but his mind reeling with anger; his fists tightly curled at his sides. "Why…" his voice dies out into a soft whisper as he nears the ill-fated location.

_"10-13!"_

He hears his own voice calling for help, offering the code for officer needing assistance; they were under attack and his partner was shot – fatally. At first he didn't know where Vinny was hit, telling himself it was into the upper shoulder, a minor professional setback at most. But when he was finally able to fire back and drag Vinny to cover at his side he saw the shot – fatal. It would only be seconds before his partner would be dead.

"DAMN YOU ALL!" Jamie shouts; not realizing that he was being watched. His body starts to ache from the emotional exhaust, his heart beating painfully; his mind not allowing him to get any sleep the night before and threatening to keep him up the nights to follow therefore his senses not as alert as they should be.

"Vinny," Jamie growls once more in emotional anger as he finally sags down a few feet from where it happened; his legs folding under him and his hands cradling his head as he whispers another vile curse.

It's not until he feels a brief but stiff breeze does he realize he's not alone and turns and looks up to see two sets of angry eyes watching him intently. Within seconds he's up on his feet, trying to counter the first punch callously tossed in his direction trying to knock him off kilter and make him an easy target. He accepts the blow to his side but counters with a heated curse as he charges one of the punks, the other trying to get at him by giving the back of his jacket a good tug.

His arms are quickly pulled behind his back and his body doubles forward with the stiff blow to his chest, his legs kicking out as he tries to yank himself free. He sees rushed movement to his right; a dark blur approaching and tells himself to reach for his gun as he could be the next officer down in the same location.

But then something happens that he doesn't quite expect; the man behind him loosens his grasp allowing Jamie to attack the man before him. He manages a firm punch to his attackers jaw but receives one in return for his efforts, his mouth slightly gagging on the coppery taste of his own blood swishing around on his tongue. But the image of his fallen partner forces his anger to surge and instantly his left elbow comes up as he pivots on the same side, bringing the appendage up and catching his attacker in the nose, forcing his head up, breaking his nose and the area to produce blood.

"Damn bastard…broke my nose!"

"Your life is next!" Jamie hisses in return as he is finally able to reach for his gun and pull it free and clear ready to shoot. But the two men grab each other by the arm and race away into the shadows; leaving him standing in the middle of the concrete area, breathing hard.

"Don't come back!" Another voice shouts. One more than familiar to him.

Jamie's brain registers the familiar growl as he turns to see Danny standing a few feet away. "Why the hell are you here?" Is all he manages; anger flashing in his somewhat watery blue eyes as he pulls away, wiping the fresh smattering of blood away from his mouth with the sleeve end of his jacket.

"You're welcome."

"I don't need you here."

"I don't have to ask why you're here. You came to see if in your mind you could redo something right? Find an outcome where Vinny lives?"

"Danny..."

"Right?"

"So what? Is that so wrong?" Jamie challenges.

"Not as long as you remember you can't. You'll just drive yourself insane."

"I don't need you here."

"Mom ever tell you not to get blood…"

"I got this Danny!" Jamie hisses as he jerks his arm free.

Danny puts his hands up to show a sign of surrender; even as his heart breaks at seeing the small crimson trails of blood on his brother's smooth pale skin. He always inwardly scoffed at Jamie's inability to grow real facial hair; saying he'd be his kid brother for life on the merit of that alone. Tonight, however, he seemed even more vulnerable and that tugs at Danny's heart fresher than it has since Joe's passing. "I'm here because I'm worried about you. Are you alright?" Danny asks in a calm tone.

"Fine."

"Course," he nods as his arms retreat to his sides once more and he leans in closer. "Jamie…"

"Shouldn't have been here," Jamie softly laments as he looks up at the blood stained wall in contempt. "I picked up the shift, called him in and…and he'd still be here if put the family first and didn't think about needing the extra money! I convinced him he could use the extra cash as well. This is MY FAULT"!

"There is only one person to blame for all this and it's NOT Jamie Reagan," Danny assures Jamie in haste. "You are not to blame for this."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Nope. Doubt anything will help that right now. That's not why I'm here."

"Why are you here?"

"You forgot your Kleenex at home," Danny replies lightly as he hands Jamie a Kleenex. "Take it already," Danny growls as Jamie turns away in defiance, his brain not caring that his stomach was rebelling at the coopery taste he was ingesting by his own stubbornness.

"He grew up here. This was his turf. He grew up with guys like this and they…just killed him for no reason!"

"He's now the enemy, just like all of us are. That's what he grew up to be in their eyes. If you're not one of them, you're against them. These guys honor nothing but their own skin and their own kind. This is war and…"

"It was for no reason!" Jamie shouts before he stands up and pulls away from his brother; his back to him and his jaw tightly set. "We lean on each other right?" Jamie turns back with an accusatory tone. "You said that's how we get through this, well how the hell do I get through this? Huh Danny? My partner, the one you said to lean on is gone. So now what? You're the genius you tell me how!"

"I will if you stop yelling for like two seconds," Danny counters with a small growl of his own; quickly backing down and reminding himself to keep his tone and words light as he knows there isn't much else that will ease Jamie's inner pain and him being testy would only force resentment to fester. "Let's just calm down here okay?"

"You tell me Danny," Jamie begs in torment as his voice automatically lowers when Danny's does.

"This isn't the same as watching that girl jump," Danny explains in a softer tone as he slowly extends his body and walks toward Jamie, his hands in his pockets. "I was right at the time. This…" he stops as he reaches Jamie and stops beside him, both of them looking at the faint red stain on the darkened stone. "This isn't something you just walk away from. Telling yourself you should just be able to go back to work or see his locker or even ride in the same car like it was no big deal won't happen. You're not Superman. All of us are vulnerable to this kinda pain. I'm sorry. I am. I wish I had better words but I don't. That's the truth and right now it sucks."

"I tried everything…I could to stop the blood but…in the end…I failed."

"There was nothing you could have done. It was a fatal shot and the shooter knew that" Danny reminds him kindly as his left hand rests on Jamie's right shoulder. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is!"

"Jamie d…"

"Shouldn't have been here," Jamie angrily hisses as his shrugs off Danny's hand and takes a few steps forward; his mind flashing the same images it had for the hours following the ill-fated event – them taking fire, Vinny being hit, him calling for help, firing back, dragging Vinny to safety and then holding him seconds after he died.

"I felt him die…in my arms. How do you just…move past that?"

Danny feels his own eyes water and heart shatter as Jamie turns around with a look of pure defeat.

"It's not easy but it's not impossible."

"I stupidly told him…it would be okay," Jamie shakes his head as his lips emit a small nervous chuckle. "Stupid right?"

"Saying what you feel is never stupid."

"All he ever wanted to do was help people and he…Danny a few seconds before he died he whispered the word mom and I pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and just stared at it. What could I tell her? Her son died in my arms and I couldn't tell her that it was my fault."

"Santana."

"What?"

"That's the name you gotta memorize because he's the SOB that is responsible for Vinny's death. I know this all just sounds like hot air but it's the truth," Danny finishes as he pulls the blood-stained object from his pocket and hands it to his brother.

"Where did you get this?"

"Stopped by your place earlier. I didn't know what this was. Thought…just for a second you came here looking for revenge."

"Danny…"

"The thought crosses all our minds in the heat of the moment. Hell, dad had to ask me if I was going on the rampage for the idiot that clocked me in the head with the bottle."

"I'm not you."

"You're a cop and human…and you're a Reagan," Danny pointedly reminds him.

"I might be angry but I'm not stupid!" Jamie snaps as he snatches the paper from Danny's grasp and pulls away; his fist curling tightly around the item in his hands, his mind racing as he hears Vinny whisper 'mom' one more time. "He died…for no reason," Jamie states flatly as he kneels down beside the area Vinny Cruz took his last breath, his slightly trembling hand reaching out and resting on the stone as his head bows.

"Now she's lost her son and for what? So that some…damn it…so what happens now?"

"You ever meet her?" Danny asks softly as he kneels down beside Jamie, his eyes on his brother's hand as it rests on the dull stain on the pavement.

"No. He talked about her a lot and brought some brownies that she had made to the station one time but um…but that was it. He said he'd have me over for Sunday dinner…spam in a can," Jamie gently smirks before his eyes mist one more time. "Never happen now."

"His memory for her…can live on through you. You can make that happen," Danny suggests as Jamie's head gently tilts upward. But as soon as a lone tear escapes the soft sapphire pools and slowly slides down Jamie's flushed face, Danny's heart breaks once more. "Damn it kid," Danny gently curses as he brushes the tear away and wraps his arm around Jamie's shoulders, pulling him into his protective embrace despite his small protests.

"I tried…to stop it."

"Just let it out," Danny lovingly instructs as Jamie's lips utter another angry curse followed by a heated yell. "None of this was your fault. They set you up just as they set us up."

"Unfair comparison, Baez is still walking next to you."

"You missed the point," Danny groans, his exasperated tone actually making Jamie's face slightly soften. "They wanted to send a message to me. The next message was stronger…"

"And the one after that?" Jamie dares to inquire.

"Well we hope we can draw out Santana and his band of clowns before there is a third message," Danny replies firmly as he pulls out the Kleenex and starts to gently wipe the lingering droplets of blood from Jamie's nose and mouth. "But right now you need to work on telling yourself this wasn't your fault so you can be there when it goes down and be a part of it."

"I still hear his voice…feel him in my arms…gasping for air and then…going limp," Jamie's voice rises in anger before he pushes Danny away and rolls to the side, getting up and then looking up at the building. "WHAT THE HELL DID HE EVER DO TO YOU! WHAT?"

Danny slowly stands up and looks around, wondering if his brother's emotionally charged accusation would merit attention from the wrong people. A few curious faces pop out of various windows, according the conspicuous duo a few seconds of attention before disappearing back into the shadows.

"How'd they know we'd be here?"

"This wasn't personal. They hate all cops," Danny tries to reason as Jamie looks back as angry fists wipe away fresh salty tears.

"It wasn't…"

"Listen to me," Danny insists as he turns Jamie back to face him. "They would have shot at anyone who responded to the call. That's what they wanted. To trap cops and kill them and send a message, that they are untouchable. They're not and we'll get them. His death was not in vain."

"He called this the end and maybe it is fitting that it starts with the word Bitter…it was a bitter end…it was pointless and stupid and…and for what? What did he give his life for Danny? Tell me!" Jamie's emotional tirade continues a few seconds longer. "Is that what I took this job for? To have a friend die in my arms for no good reason at all! It wasn't like he was saving someone, risking his life for another's; dying to protect me. IT WAS FOR NOTHING!"

Danny listens to Jamie's angry verbal expulsion. What could he say right now? Jamie was right, Vinny's death did seem pointless when you broke it down to the very motive. Hateful revenge by a cruel person with a sinister agenda.

"Maybe I don't belong here."

"Maybe you don't," Danny resigns with a heavy sigh as Jamie looks at him in shock.

"What?"

"Well that's what you want me to say right? You want me to stand here and say yes it sucks and you should go back to the bench and leave all the tough stuff for the rest of us to deal with? Well there is said it. Quit."

"You wouldn't," Jamie admits bitterly as he turns away with an angry growl.

"Course I wouldn't. You remember Rick Smith?"

"That isn't fair!" Jamie snaps in frustration.

"He was about the same age as…"

"I don't want to hear it right now!"

"Well you're gonna. He was the same as a Vinny, fresh…green…eager. We walked into that turf war and within the blink of an eye I was down…he was down…he died in my arms."

"I remember the story!" Jamie looks at Danny in contempt. "I don't need…"

"Yes you do need to hear this right now. I know you're hurting and raw and pissed off at the world and yourself. I've been through this. You ask me how I get through stuff like this…its by talking and remembering and being there for your friend…partner…or brother," Danny's tone drops as he nears Jamie. "Some would say he died for nothing. You remember the letter his sister gave to me at the funeral?"

"I do," Jamie answers with a tormented whisper.

"To be given to me in the case of his death. I had no idea that he had written it but…" Danny pauses as he opens his jacket and retrieves his wallet; Jamie watching with rapt attention. Danny's fingers pull out a somewhat tattered folded paper and he holds it up. "The bitter end."

"Danny," Jamie sighs as he looks at the paper and then drops his gaze.

"This stays with me at all times. This reminds me that we gotta be smart but at the same time that every call could be our last. Grampa always said that beginnings are scary, endings are always sad but it's the middle that counts. Vinny, Rick…Joe," Danny's voice breaks from emotion as Jamie looks up in sorrow. "None of them died for nothing. Okay. We can make sure of that."

"Damn it," Jamie curses as his shoulders finally sag. Danny steps in and takes Jamie in his grasp and holds him close once more, Jamie's lips emitting a few anguished sobs as he doesn't make any attempt to pull away.

"It's okay now," Danny whispers as he holds onto his brother, feeling his father's invisible pat of approval on his back. "We'll make sure he didn't die for nothing."

Jamie finally pulls back and offers a sad exhale as Danny gently wipes Jamie's eyes and then pulls out a fresh Kleenex, Jamie's brows slightly arching in wonder. "Linda," he huffs as he dabs the saline residue and then hands it back to his brother.

"Don't expect miracles overnight. You wanna talk…no matter the time, you call me."

"Okay," Jamie agrees without too much reluctance.

"Okay, come on," Danny states softly as his arm drapes around Jamie's shoulders, pulling him close as they turn and head toward a bench; both of them slumping down side by side. At first silence ensues; Danny knowing that it would be up to Jamie to direct the flow of conversation now. This night…this moment…this end was about his partner, it was about Jamie. He had been here…in this moment many times before and he's sure many more to come. It came with the job and territory…that of being a cop…a partner…a friend…a big brother; one who actually cared.

"You know his favorite snack?" Jamie's voice finally breaks the silence with a small crack of emotion.

Danny listens to Jamie talk about Vinny, neither of them making any attempt to move from the place of the less than reputable neighborhood; Danny lending the ear and the shoulder that Jamie needs in the moment making a promise to himself that no matter what, outside of his own fatherly responsibilities – Jamie would be his chief concern. The moment might be bitter but it wasn't the end.

**THE END!**

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**A/N:** Gosh okay so it's been a while since I wrote any Bluebloods so hope am I'm not too rusty but if so I hope you'll forgive. But I hope you all liked this missing scene and please do review before you go and thanks so much!


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